Saturday, February 9, 2008

Rock Bottom

"You who have shown me many troubles and distresses will revive me again and will bring me up again from the depths of the earth" Psalm 71:20 (AMP) As I hung up the phone, everything suddenly changed to slow-motion. I walked down the hall and stopped in the doorway of the bedroom. It was at this time that I felt myself give way and slump down the wall. This was the moment I realized that I had lost everything that I identified myself with and that gave my life any purpose. This was my "rock bottom" and the moment that changed my life forever. That was over 10 years ago when I experienced this but I can still relive it in my mind as if it were yesterday. The difference in my replaying it in my mind is that I now know how the story progresses and in fact that was not the end for me, yet it was a defining moment in my life that was a part of the journey that led me to my current place in this world. More importantly, I can say I am closer to the Lord because of this situation and others that followed. It was not a miraculous overnight recovery for me as I am a strong-willed, fiercly independent person. Combine those traits with a lack of direction and purpose and you have a recipe for sure-fire destruction. Thinking I knew best when in reality I knew nothing, led to more depression and desperation. During this time of my life, I was calling out to the Lord yet I did not fully commit myself to His ways. I felt I still needed to have control of my life and could not completely give it all to him. It wasn't until I just got tired and could no longer keep up that I cried out for the Lord to take me HOME. I prayed for death to find me and to allow me go to Heaven and end my suffering. The Lord reached out to me and touched me in that hour of need. This was the time I called out to Him with all my heart. He thankfully accepted me with the baggage I brought along and He found room for everything. Over the years, He helped me to clean out the "closets" and eventually lessen the burden I carried. The Lord has taken on almost everything for me. I am still working in some areas of my life, again that goes back to my need for control and certainty. Fortunately, the Lord is patient with me and gives me just enough room to run but not get lost!! Dear Lord: Thank you for redeeming and saving me from myself. Thank you for being patient with me and working with me through all my issues. Thank you for being there at all times. I love you Lord. AMEN Application:

  • What are you going through at this time?
  • Have you hit "rock bottom" at any time in your life? If so, what did the Lord teach you?
  • Pray that you stay close to the Lord at all times.

1 comment:

Dana said...

Your story is such an inspiration and testimony of God's faithfulness.