Monday, February 2, 2009

A lot to say without knowing what to say

I am up in the wee hours of the morning and surprisingly not by choice and not by some supernatural leading of the Holy Spirit. I am up strictly because my little fella is having a rough night. We had some friends over tonight for the BIG GAME and he went to bed well after his bedtime! So, I guess he just can't seem to get settled. In any event, here I sit (or recline I should say). It's funny because it is times like this that I feel something impressed upon my spirit. Many nights in the past week, I had thoughts but I refused to get up out of my warm and toasty bed to write them down. Wouldn't you know it? - By morning they were but vague memories of jumbled thoughts that I have yet to piece together to form any semblance of the original message. Isn't that like us? We often put off until tomorrow or later what we feel compelled to do now -- all because of our comfort. I think of times in my life that still resonate with me on the times I didn't act when I felt compelled to do so. One particular memory is still vivid -- I was about 5 1/2 months pregnant in the interior waiting room of the OBGYN. This was the waiting room that you sat in once you were finished with the doctor. The one where the next stop was to check out and schedule your next appointment. To my left and across the aisle from me was a young woman. This woman was nondescript in my memory aside from the fact that she had long chestnut hair and she was crying. I felt compelled to go over to her and ask if she was okay but instead I sat there waiting like everyone else for my name to be called. I remember my thoughts went to speculating the reason for her tears....I surmised she may have suffered a miscarriage. I would like to say that I got up and went to her but I did not. The truth was that it was not comfortable for me to do so. I too had experienced a miscarriage in my past and to be honest -- I feared it again. You see, the baby I was carrying was a threatened pregnancy. Something in my spirit still compelled me to speak with her. Yet, my selfish nature didn't want to broach the subject with her for fear I too may be on receiving end of that same interaction with someone in the foreseeable future. I am happy to report that after 4 months of bed rest, I delivered my wonderful baby boy who is now 5 years old. That being said, I still remember that woman and her pain. I missed an opportunity to be a source of comfort to her and possibly offer her the hope of Jesus. I think of her often and I still pray for her. I wonder how she is... if that was truly her dilemma... did she ever have a child...if she knows Jesus.. if she knows peace?? For me the sacrifice of a small gesture and a minute amount of time, may have meant more to her than I could imagine. I think in hind sight, it would have meant something to me too! I think I stole a blessing from both of us.

So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. Luke 5:11 (NIV)
What I learned was God calls us at different places in our lives. Sometimes He calls us to full-time ministry and asks us to leave our jobs, homes, levels of comfort, etc. Sometimes He just asks us to show love and compassion. Sometimes it's something else. But whatever it is, I know that I would be wise to say YES no matter the request. Lay down my net and follow You Lord - YES. Say a prayer with a stranger - YES. Give money to the homeless man on the corner - YES. I must yield my worldly thoughts and preconceived notions and give my will over to the God of the Universe. After all, He's the one who knows how all the pieces fit in this puzzle, we call life. Dear Father-I thank You for the honor of being Your hands and feet to reach others. Please forgive me for the times that I fall short and put my own needs a head of others -- more specifically Your call. I pray for discernment and a yielding spirit! In the precious name of Jesus - AMEN Application:
  • Have you ever had the "gut" feeling that you were supposed to do something -even something out of character?
  • If yes, did you act on it? How did you feel?
  • If no, how did you feel?
  • Do you struggle to give up your level of comfort to follow the call from God?
  • Pray that Lord will show you how you can be like Jesus to someone this week.

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