Monday, May 4, 2009

Chipping away....

The past couple of weeks has been a virtual roller coaster ride for my family. I must say that I am one with a proclivity towards motion sickness so the ride has been none too friendly for my tastes. Well, last week we finally reached the station with a direction and clear path. After being rocked by the actual ride, the destination nearly did me in. It may have been from the exhaustion of "not knowing" but I was not prepared for my reaction to the ending. I penned the last post -- a poem entitled "God Said NO" last week and it was only by the grace of God that I was even able to form a complete thought. For one thing, poetry is not my thing --- I don't even know a pentameter from a centimeter. I just wrote out my thoughts and finished it in a few minutes. What came from it did not hit me until Sunday when I had some time alone with just me and God. I had an opportunity to read it and see that He was right there beside me the whole time. You see that night, I couldn't sleep, nor pray, nor keep an idle thought in my mind. It was one of those times when I really wanted to speak to God - to pray - to understand yet only nonsense came forth. Or at least that is the way I perceived it. God however, understood the utterances of my mouth along with the gut-retching pain that resonated through my veins and screamed silently from my heart. But, MY God heard it! He understood it! He translated it! He soothed me as only He can do.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. Romans 8:26-27(NIV)
Now, I begin a new chapter in my life and must truly trust the One who redeemed me. I feel that I am in the process of another round of refinement at the Master's hand. I am like a diamond that continues to be chipped and chiseled so that when He is finished, my facets will reflect His light to truly show off His artistry and His glory!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
Oh, I still question and I still don't understand, but if God has shown me anything over my life, He has a reason for EVERYTHING!!!! He will use my circumstance for His glory. I can't wait to see how it turns out! Dear Father -- thank You for showing up at a time I felt all alone. I praise You for showing me that You were there and are there all the time! I thank you for helping me through this journey and working my way to acceptance. Thank You for the gift of Hope!! In the blessed name of Jesus- AMEN!

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